Chapter 1:

                “I want you,” he told me, reaching out to hold my hand. “I’ve wanted to tell you for the longest time. I think I love you.”

                I pulled away, shocked into silence. Voices of reason thundered through my head, all of them telling me that this couldn’t be. He couldn’t really mean it. After what seemed like forever, I looked back into his eyes. I’d seen him lie before. I knew all of his expressions down to the last detail, and he was not lying to me. His absolute honesty filled me with a feeling I couldn’t describe.

                In a rush of movement, I took his hand in mine and pulled him close. Pressing his lips against my own, all I could think about was how I wished I could have worked up the courage to say his very words. I’d never felt so nervous in all my life. This was it. This was the moment.

                “I-I think I love you too, Chuck.”

                “Hey! Hey, Pierre, what’s that you’re writing?” David hopped onto the couch beside me. “Not those forums again. What’s up with you and those, huh? It’s all just a big joke.”

                A warmth crept up the back of my neck, but David didn’t pay any attention.

                “What was it you were writing?” he asked, “A story about some love affair between the guys in the band?”

                I shot him a look. “Shut up!”

                “Heh, I’m just kidding you, Pierre, that stuff is all a load of crap anyway. Sick stuff the fans write for a laugh or whatever,” he smiled and shook his head, “You know, I once read something about me and you making out backstage- like that  would ever happen!”

                I managed to laugh along with him, quickly closing the forum window on my laptop in the process.

                “You’re not my type anyway,” he jumped over the back of the couch and headed to the fridge for a beer. I just rolled my eyes. What a tease.

                “You want to play some Guitar Hero?” I tried to change the subject. I got up and turned the X-Box on anyway, knowing he probably wouldn’t pass up the offer.

                “Yeah, sure. Might as well.” He set down two bottles of beer on the table. “I’m so going to own you, you know.”

                “Whatever.”

                We played for a good half hour before I gave up. I just didn’t have it in me. My mind kept on wandering back to the story. It all seemed like a dream. The music from the game made screeching noises as I fumbled, and David shook his head.

                “Man, you’re not even watching the screen!” he pushed my face back in the direction of the TV, averting my gaze from the window. “What’s with you, Pi? You’re all spacey.”

                “I dunno,” I mumbled, finally hitting a few notes, “Just tired, I guess. And nervous for the concert coming up.”

                “Sure, sure.” I could tell he didn’t believe me. It wasn’t usually me that worried about our shows, that was normally Chuck’s thing. “You want to jam later? That might take your mind off the nerves.”

                “Yeah, I guess so,” I told him. “Maybe later this afternoon or something.”

                “’Kay,” he nodded, now firmly directing his attention at the TV as he max combo-ed his current song. “Awesome! You see that?! High score! High score! Ownage, man. Pure ownage right there.”

                “Yeah, yeah,” I pulled myself up from the couch and shuffled towards the fridge, “You want another beer?”

                David gave me a funny look that I couldn’t quite figure out. I think it had to do with my drinking habits, which had gotten a lot more frequent in the past few weeks.

                “Nah, I’ll pass.” He selected the single player mode on the game and started acing ‘Cliffs of Dover’.

                The beer sizzled as I popped off the cap. Half way through the bottle, I started getting a comforting buzz in my head. It took the edge away from my mixed feelings and made me forget for a few seconds why I was so out of it.

                A car door slammed from the driveway. ‘Oh, that’s why.’ I remembered.

                Two guys stumbled through the front door, laughing and pulling off their sunglasses.

                “Oh, Pierre, you just HAD to go see that movie with us!” Jeff kicked away his shoes and grabbed the spare Guitar Hero controller from beside David. “Friggin hilarious.”

                “Yeah, like that part with the guy and the gunfight with the bad guy! Holy crap that was good,” Chuck wandered into the kitchen with a huge smile. He gave me a wave and then bent down for a look in the fridge. Pretty graceful, for a drummer. Pushing around a few cans and bottles, he couldn’t seem to make up his mind on what he wanted. I leaned against the counter and watched him search.

                “We gotta go shopping soon,” he muttered to himself, “Nothing good in here.”

                I nodded, but he wasn’t watching.

                “I was planning on going out some time,” I told him, “Want to come?”

                I hoped Chuck didn’t hear the nervousness creep into my voice. He stood back up and closed the fridge.

                “Sure,” he shrugged, “But you’ll have to drive.”

                “No trouble there,” I smiled, but when I made my way back to the living room, I had a hard time keeping a straight pace. I swayed to and fro, finally gripping the back of a couch for support.

                “Hey, you alright?” Chuck asked, “Jeez, Pi, you been drinking again?”

                “I only gave him one beer!” David attempted in defense of his situation, “This isn’t my fault. I didn’t know how much he drank before that! I just got up a while ago!”

                “It’s 2:30 in the afternoon!” Jeff rolled his eyes.

                “Duh, exactly,” was David’s response.

                Chuck came up beside me, ready to give me support if I fell down.

                “How much did you drink?” he asked quietly.

                I shook my head. I honestly couldn’t remember. My head buzzed nicely and I felt good, but the look of concern on Chuck’s face made me wonder just how bad I looked.

                “You didn’t sleep again,” he said for only me to hear. I looked up, shocked. I had no clue that anyone knew I hadn’t been sleeping lately. But Chuck was more aware of that kind of thing, he’d always been that way. He grabbed my arm. “Come on, you need to go to bed.”

                Chuck half dragged me to my room, as I struggled to remain upright on my own.

                “I’m sorry,” I slurred, “Didn’t mean it to get this way.”

                He nodded with what I hoped was understanding. ‘God, his eyes are beautiful’ was all I could think. But they looked better when he was happy, and something told me he wasn’t the smiling guy he was a few minutes ago. Chuck lifted me onto the bed. I almost laughed at that. Finally, he got to use all that muscle he built up working out at the gym all year. I could still beat him in a fight, though.

                “Night, Pi,” he stood up and shut off the lights, “You sleep this off. You’ll have hell to pay later.”

                I grimaced at his words. Too many early mornings with hangovers did that to you. You knew what was coming. It wouldn’t be good. But secretly I smiled, filled with happiness knowing that he did care about me. I just wished it wasn’t only in a friend way- but that was only fiction, right?